Ch-ch-cha-changes!

Change. The ever constant in each and every persons life. Sometimes, its easy. And sometimes, it is not. However way it manifests itself into your day, I think the trick is just learning to embrace it. 

One of my very favorite parts of homeschooling is having the freedom to embrace changes as they come and go in the life of my family. 

Almost as soon as I posted about the curriculum I had chosen for Kai's first official year of preschool, a change started brewing. Maybe it happened in my brain or maybe in my heart, though I'd say it was probably a combination of the two. But really where it began is irrelevant because it happened. So there I was, now sitting on the brink of change, watching as it stared blankly back at me.

I was no longer confident that the path we were heading down was as perfect of a fit as I once believed it was. And though it was a good road, My vision for what our homeschool should look like was evolving. Suddenly and drastically.

So, I canceled my orders and made new ones and then chuckled to myself over the peace brought on by my certainty. 

So what is different? What are you using instead, you ask? Well, I traded in text books and curriculum guides for a pink tower and the wisdom of an Italian physician and educator who lived over 100 years ago. Her name was Maria Montessori and she was astoundingly ahead of her time. 

She believed in following the lead of the child, fostering the life long love of learning, and respected the full grown soul present in the tiny bodies in front of her. She understood the frustration caused by living in a child size world and worked to create an environment devoted to helping children explore and discover the many aspects of the life around them.

She basically was awesome in the form of a woman.

So that is where my heart now sits. Montessori at home. In my home.

 I will continue to update and post as often as I can. I am so excited for this new season of my families' life. If Montessori is a completely new topic for you and you have small children, I urge you to do a tiny bit of research. It really will blow you away. 

2013-2014 Pre-K Curriculum

Hey Everyone! Many friends and family members have been asking me what curriculum we plan on using for Kai's first official year of preschool at home. So I made up a list and gave a little info on why I have chosen that particular material. Just remember, what works for us may not work for you and vise versa. And that is the glory of Homeschooling. You have the freedom and flexibility to change and alter the curriculum used as well as the very way you do school to best meet the needs and abilities of your own child. Families that homeschool have multiplied immensely, especially in the last decade and because of that, the curriculum options and choices are endless! 

Letter of the Week from Confessions of a Homeschooler - We have been using the free printables from Erica's blog for just about a year now and we have thoroughly enjoyed them. They are colorful and bright and easily attract the attention of my very busy boy. Each letter themed week includes a ton of activities from letter tracing and puzzles to color recognition and pre-math skills such as number tracing and picture patterns. Up until this point I have just printed out what I wanted (for free) to do for the week and then laminated them. Now that we are adding a *bit* more structure into our school days, I went ahead and purchased the entire collection and uploaded it to our hard drive. It is 15 dollars for the files or 20 dollars for the actual hard copies in disc form. In my opinion, this is a really wonderful place to start. 

Before Five in a Row- I have had my eyes on BFIAR for quite some time now. A while back when we made the determination and decision to homeschool Kai, I bought a book called 100 Top picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy (A revised edition of this book has since been released, 101 Top Picks for Homechool Curticulum). In the beginning of the book you are given a brief run down of the different styles of homeschooling. Didn't know there was more than one way to homeschool? Don't feel bad, I didn't know then either. After you are given an explanation of the different schooling styles the book has a questionnaire to help you narrow down the best style suited for you and your family based on your individual needs and desires. If nothing more, the purchase of the book was worth every penny because it included that questionnaire. So my husband and I sat down together and discussed and answered each question. When we were finished we came to the conclusion that the schooling style best suited for our family was an eclectic one. Followed closely behind by the Unit study approach. A Unit Study is an in depth examination of one topic (farms, dogs, treehouses, etc) that uses various academic avenues to approach that topic (math, science, geography, etc). It is a complete immersion into the topic so that the child can view things as a whole rather than disconnected tidbits of knowledge. Which now brings me back to where I began with all of this- BFIAR is a very gentle introduction into unit studies that uses beloved classic children's books as the center. The teacher's guide lays out activities for each of the selected literature choices and you can pick and choose between lessons at your discretion. It is best suited for ages 2-4 and includes books like Corduroy, Runaway Bunny, Goodnight Moon and The Snowy Day. The literature package currently contains 19 titles and is a total of $96.75. If you are on a budget, you can always check out these books from the library and just purchase the teacher's guide which is 35 dollars. I'm really looking forward to starting this curriculum!

Singapore Earlybird Kindergarten Math Standard Edition A- My boy likes math. It comes easy to him. He has known his numbers and has been able to count way before he ever started to recognize letters or letter sounds. I have done a lot of research and believe that this curriculum will be best for where Kai's math skills are now. Each edition is made up with different units to help lay a firm mathematical foundation. It is based on California state standards (a plus in my opinion) and contains a very kid friendly text book, activity book, teacher's guide, and teacher resource pack. You can take everything for Edition A home for a little over 100 dollars. I will let you know how we like it once we get started. 

Montessori- I love love love the Montessori style of teaching and have been implementing it in our tot school from day one. I recently purchased an E-book from the Montessori Print Shop called Montessori at Home. I will be using that as well as a few Early Childhood Teacher's Manuals from Montessori Reserach and Development (Practical Life and Geography and History) in our daily school time. I will go more in depth on montessori style preschool activities in another post. 

Mudpies to Magnets: A Preschool Science Curriculum- I purchased this book from amazon and plan to supplement it within our other areas of study. 

NaturExplorer Studies from Shining Dawn Books- These are inexpensive Ebooks on various subjects that I also plan to use as a supplement to our areas of study.

Links

http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/letter-of-the-week

http://fiveinarow.com/before-five-in-a-row/

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0929320158?ie=UTF8&force-full-site=1&ref_=aw_bottom_links

http://www.singaporemath.com/

http://shiningdawnbooks.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Mudpies-Magnets-Preschool-Science-Curriculum/dp/0876591128/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371250741&sr=1-1&keywords=mudpies+to+magnets

http://montessorird.com/index2.php?cPath=2_17

http://www.montessoriprintshop.com/site/mobile?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.montessoriprintshop.com%2FMontessori_At_Home_.html#2812

Ricotta Cheese

I am half Italian. And that by default makes me adore all things pasta and cheese. I mean it's in my blood, right?
Right!
Some of my fondest childhood memories take place at my grandparent's or Nonno and Nonna's house on Sunday nights. Nothing but family, love, and food. Oh, the food!
I'm fairly certain I have been eating ricotta cheese since I could walk. And all the more, loving ricotta cheese since the very first time the yummy, rich, dangerously addictive food reached my mouth. I can just hear my Nonno say, "Lorena, mangia! Mangia!" (Lauren, eat! Eat!) as he heaped a giant spoonful into a bowl. Sometimes, he would mix it with a little bit of jelly or preserves. And other times with a little bit of fresh tomato sauce. Whatever way it was served, I ate it. Happily.
Since, I have been enjoying cooking more of what my family eats from scratch, I set out on a journey to make my own ricotta cheese. When I tell you that this is by far one of the most delicious and easy things to ever grace my kitchen, believe me. I could barely pull myself away from it. I will never, ever buy it pre-made again. Try it, you too, will find it makes you weak in the knees.

Ricotta Cheese

4 cups whole milk
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup heavy cream
Sea salt
*Note: I used all organic dairy and saved a bunch making this myself. Organic ricotta cheese is very pricey and hard to find!

Line a strainer with a triple layered piece of cheese cloth and place it in the sink.

Combine milk, buttermilk, and cream into a sauce pan and heat on medium high.

It will start to slowly boil and solids will start to form. This is the whey (liquid) and the curds beginning to separate. If you have a thermometer, you want it to reach a temperature of 185 degrees. A candy thermometer is best but I don't have one so I used my turkey thermometer. I'm fancy like that.
If you don't have a thermometer, don't worry. You will be able to see this happening. It should take about 10 minutes.
After the curds have formed, remove from heat and use a slotted spoon or hand strainer to scoop out the cheese. Place it in the cheese cloth lined strainer. Every few scoopfuls sprinkle with sea salt.
Now stand over your beautiful creation with a spoon and admire/taste the goodness.

You are welcome, in advance.
Buon Appetito!

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you – as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
Author Unknown

Babies Don't Keep

Holding my baby in my arms, watching his little lips move as he quietly dreams of nursing, listening to the soft sound of his breathing, inhaling the sweet aroma of his baby scent, and absolutely relishing in this moment that will never come again.
He will only be this exact way today. Tomorrow brings growth and new developments and one morning I will wake up, these days nothing but a memory. There is nothing more important or pressing to accomplish than for this mama to just sit and hold her baby.


Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

-Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

3

 

It's ridiculously hard to even comprehend that I am now a Momma to a 3 year old.

Kai turned 3 a few days ago. Man, that went by fast.

How I love that sweet child.

Here is his 3 year old birthday/love letter:

 

Little man,

Today, You are three and most often; are completely perplexing me. Still, so much a baby but with every blink of my eyes you become more and more the little boy I always imagined I would have. You are the boy who believes he is Godzilla fifty percent of the day. I love that two of your favorite pastimes are washing your hands and brushing your teeth. You also LOVE to floss, you are awesome. My boy who wants to be just like his Daddy but is still very much a Mama's boy. You live in a world I am no longer a part of, a land of hiding holes and make believe. Just when I think I have you all figured out, you throw me through a loop hole and I'm off, again chasing after you. I follow you around the world and watch your undying curiosity make leaps and bounds. This life is so interesting and I can feel the youth in my soul awaken as I experience childhood once again. Except this time it's through your eyes. Sometimes, when you sleep, I watch you dream and I dream too.

It's hard to imagine that one day you will pack up your things and set out into this great big world. So, I plan on hanging on to every second of your childhood and soaking it all in. My little boy who loves dragons and monsters. Who wants to help me with everything I do. Who likes to jump on my back and be carried down the stairs. Who grabs my cheeks and kisses my nose.

I can't wait to see where 3 takes you.

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living,

My baby you'll be.

 

Xoxoxo Mom

 

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Lochlan's Birth Story

Hello my Sweet Lochlan,

It's been almost two months since you graced our family with your presence and I decided that now was a good time to write the story of your birth. Details are already becoming fuzzy and I know I will kick myself later if I don't do this now while it's still somewhat fresh in my mind.

In the days and months leading up to your birthday, I had been a giant ball of emotions. One minute, my heart was jumping with excitement and the next, I would be paralyzed with fear and anxiety. Doubts would flood through me and I would have to make a conscious effort to turn off my mind and have faith that all of my payers and choices had brought me to this moment and the decision to birth you completely naturally in the warmth and safety of our own home. In the week before you were born, I remember waking up every day wondering if today was the day we would see your sweet face for the first time. It wasn't until two days before that I began to think that you really were on your way, though I kept telling myself it wasn't time as to not disappoint myself too much.

Saturday September 15, 2012

I had been having contractions all day. Nothing painful or intense but they didn't seem to ease up for the entire day. I went on like usual, your Dad was working at the tunnel and I went shopping with Kai, Grammy and Stephanie. We went to target, my happy store, and walked around. Your brother being the almost three year old that he is, was testing the boundaries left and right. At one point, I even at to walk him out to the car to discipline him. What a sight we probably were! I even thought, "Watch my water break while I'm lugging this wailing child outside!" Luckily, it did not break then, although not so lucky for our midwife. More on that in a bit. So by the time our shopping trip was complete, I was persuaded to call Donna, our midwife just to give her a heads up to what was going on with me. Which at this point, I still thought was nothing. Your Dad came home that night and we ordered Mexican for dinner. I sat with your brother for a long time playing with play dough, reading him books, and telling him stories of all the adventures that you and him would go on some day. I remember haing a lump in my throat and a gut feeling that life as we knew it was about to change drastically and I remember wondering if I was up for the challenge that was ahead of me. Dad and I went to bed quite a bit earlier than usual, around 9 pm, and by midnight my sleep was interrupted by my first actual labor pain.

I jostled your Dad to get up and he suggested I call Donna and/or try to go back to sleep. Agreeing with him, I called Donna and told her my contractions were painful and from my guess were somewhere around 4 minutes apart. I also told her I was still able to talk through them and that they weren't anything terrible. She too, suggested I try to get some rest and I obliged and told her I would call her when things intensified. Now I'm not sure how I managed to do this but I went back to sleep for two hours! At that point in my labor, it was a pretty awesome feat to accomplish.

It was now 2 am and my contractions were intense. Each wave stronger than the one that preceded it and I could no longer lay down during them. I woke your Dad up again, in which he responded that I should try to lay down again. I humored him and attempted to lay down for one contraction but was far too uncomfortable to do so. I called my midwife from the bathroom and updated her on my progress. Still explaining that I was fine in between them but it was getting harder to keep my mind off the pain when I was contracting. She said she would start heading over and that I should call Mel, my very dear friend whom I had asked to be an extra support person during your birth. She too, had given birth at home to her second son and I was fortunate enough to attend her birth as her doula. It was such an amazing experience and I was giddy on the high of her birth for months. So I had your Dad call Mel, because at this point I was losing the ability to talk in between my contratctions. I needed the time in between to rest and mentally prepare myself for the next one.

Looking back, I probably should have realized that my contractions were starting to be one on top of the other but my perception was clouded by the idea I had put in my head that I was going to be in labor for days. Your Dad immediately went into his "Be Prepared" mode and had rearranged the furniture in our living room, lit candles, and put on the pandora station I had selected to give birth to. He was so cute, my heart instantly warms a little when I think about him busily rushing around to get things ready for you. When Mel arrived, my contractions were already more than I thought I could handle. I found comfort in sitting on the toilet and I could feel my desire to seem "in control" slip away. The stronger my contractions became, the louder my voice became. I remember thinking and speaking my doubts that I was not going to be able to do this. I was very kindly reminded that I was in fact, doing it and I was doing it well. At one point, I remember thinking that pounding on the wall and knocking things over sounded like great ideas. I'd like to think that my primal human instincts were to blame for that, but in actuality, it was probably just because birthing you hurt like h***. At this point, your Dad walked into the bathroom and informed me that he was going to go fill up our gas tank. "Just in case", he said. Now at the time this made perfect sense and I didn't think twice about it, maybe I didn't even think about it at all, but looking back now it makes me smile and want to kiss your Dad for being so cute. He had received some advice from Selwyn, Mel's husband, on being prepared and man, did he ever take that to heart. So anywho, he left. To go get gas. :) funny guy.

I'm pretty sure within minutes of your Dad leaving I was fully dilated and effaced. I started to get this overwhelming sensation that I needed to push. The more I resisted pushing the more extreme the pain. Finally, when I couldn't hold back anymore I gave in. I kept telling Mel that I was trying not to push but I was! And where was my husband? And where was my midwife? Mel told me that she was pretty sure that when you had the need to push that you were pretty close to having a baby and I laughed/cried/screamed and said "That would be nice but I'm not getting my hopes uppppppp!"

Your Dad returned in record time and I was so glad. I felt a little, tiny, itty bitty part of me relax. He took over pressing on my back during my contractions and gave Mel a break. In the corner of my eye, I had been watching her text Donna then when I began to say I needed to push, she went out into the kitchen and called her. She came back to the bathroom after the call and said, "She is on her way! She is going 90 and will be here in a minute." Thank. God. I thought.

When Donna walked through my door it was like watching an angel walk into my house. Man, was I glad to see her! This labor had gone from 0 to 60 in just over an hour and I there was no possible way I was giving birth to you without her next to me. She immediately walked over and hugged me. I told her I needed to push and she said "Ok, let's check and see how much progress you have made." "All I feel is a bag of water!", she excitedly replied afterward. I couldn't believe it. it was game time.u

We moved to the living room and your Dad, Mel, and Donna covered up the chaise lounge and got me sitting on up on it. Your Dad was sitting behind me, holding me and loving on me. I gave my first push and a giant gush of water splashed everywhere, including all over my wonderful midwife. Yep, my water broke all over. Giving birth is amazing. By the time I got to the living room I had given in to the pain and contractions and was just going with it. Honestly, I don't remember this pain nearly as much as I remember the pain fom not pushing. I pushed for 12 minutes and you were born.

At 3:58 am on September 16, 2012 I reached down and brought you up to my chest and looked into your eyes for the first time. You were absolutely perfect and it was the most blissful moment of my life. Every pain I had experienced had ceased and was long forgotten. I had you and I had the birth I had been dreaming of. It was one of the most incredible feelings in the world. A high ten times better than anything I experienced during my skydiving days.

Your birth was ideal in every form of the word for me. It was 100% natural. I was at home surrounded by people that I love and people who love me. It was quick. It was safe. And it was beautiful, was it ever beautiful.

 

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6 Weeks, 6 Days

Hello All!

 

This is me showing my little old' blog some love. It has been six weeks and six days since I became a mother of two. Time has completely flown by. It seems like I just gave birth yesterday; the details, images, and feelings still so fresh in my mind (birth story coming next). But clearly it has been much longer than just yesterday which leads me to this evening. I'm currently laying next to a precious little guy who is completely content and all cuddled up beside me. I am exhausted. And happy.

If you were to ask me what life with two kids under three is like, I would tell you it is hard. It is really, really hard. I believe in honesty. And sugar coating things isn't my style, so this is me telling you that having two little ones is no walk in the park. I was not expecting the transition to be as much of a challenge as it actually turned out to be. Silly me :)

My days seem to almost always feel like constant chaos. It takes me ten times longer to do anything and everything. I have become particularly fond of my coffee in the morning. Ok, fond is probably an understatement. My house is never clean the way it used to be. I have trouble finishing my own sentences, responding to emails, calls, and text messages, and remembering to send out birthday cards. I eat every meal in under 5 minutes for fear that the opportunity to nourish my body will pass and I will be sidetracked by changing a diaper, wiping a nose, nursing a baby, cleaning up a spill, or dealing with an unruly individual. And I'm scared to death to leave the house with the boys without another adult to help. The thought alone makes me cringe and want to run to my bed and throw the covers over my head. There are many times (a day) I wonder why on Earth do people continue to have kids. I mean it is just so much work! Then, as quickly as that thought enters my mind, The millions of little things that make parenting so absolutely amazing wash over me and then I know.

I know, that children are a blessing. I know that the hardest things in life, reap the most reward. I know, when I look into the eyes of my little boys that there is absolutely nothing else I would rather be doing then raising them. And I think to myself, "Man, I love being a mother." And I love my two little boys. My thoughts are consumed with them, my dreams are dreams for them, and my heart has never felt more full.

So for now, I will laugh at the chaos and embrace it. After all, it's happy chaos. I know when these moments are nothing but a memory that I will long for the days when the sound of little feet was the music we danced to week to week. (name that song)

And that's about all the love I have to give the blogging world tonight.

From my little piece of chaotic heaven, I am signing off.

 

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Dear Kai part 3

I was just looking over my past blog posts and realized I never published the third part to my first letter to Kai. So here it is, Part 3: Kai's Birth.

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”

The days leading up to your birth are a blur to me. I don't remember exactly what youR Dad and I did each day but I do know that we spent most of it trying to make up for lost time. The precious time and moments that he missed while you were thriving and growing inside of me. We laid around, cuddled, talked about our dreams for you and what we hoped would be the childhood we would give to you. It was blissful and dreamy to say the least, the last moments as a family of two.

Eight days, before your birth I went in for my weekly appointment and had my membranes stripped. I won't give you details but just know it was done to speed things along and it was painful. Looking back, I laugh at my lack of patience. Most first time moms and many experienced moms are very impatient when it comes to the end of their pregnancies. Subjecting themselves to uncomfortable, painful, and even risky procedures all to get it over with. I know now that it's always better to let nature take its course but I can't change the past and this part of your story. So anyways, after that was done I immediately started feeling painful contractions and believed you were in fact on your way. That night, your Dad and I had a breastfeeding 101 class at the hospital and decided to go regardless of my contractions because if I did go into labor I would already be where I needed to be.

When we got to the class, I was by far the most pregnant person in there. I felt a sting of sadness for not being able to do things like this my entire pregnancy with your Dad, but that quickly went away when I reminded myself how fortunate I was that I was in fact, still pregnant and would have your Dad by my side the rest of the journey. The class was informative and I am thankful we went. At one point, the LC put on a video starring a baby that resembled Zoolander (if you don't know who Zoolander is, google him or whatever it's called when you look something up these days) your Dad and I could not contain our laughter. We were like two high school students sitting in the back of class howling at the video then howling again at our inability to act like adults and maybe even howling again at the expressions of the very, VERY serious expectant parents around us who seemed to have no sense of humor at all. By the time we left the class, my contractions had all but ceased and we went home and got into bed still giggling to ourselves like school girls.

A week later, I was 39 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I went in for my appointment and again had my membranes stripped. This time the fear of being induced with pitocin or a c-section was a factor that was now added into my decision. It frustrates me to no end that doctors scare their patients into decisions like that. But again, these are the details of your story and I will try to not get side-tracked. This time the pain afterwards was extreme. We got back in the car and headed home to eat dinner because I had a good feeling you were on your way to meet us. We got stuck in traffic on the Howard Franklin Bridge. It wasn't fun, but we made it home with plenty of time to eat, pack up last minute items in our bags and head to the hospital. I was admitted almost immediately. Your Dad made phone calls about your near arrival and we sat back and relaxed while we tried to take in the magnitude of the night. We were becoming parents. At some point, the doctor on call from the OB group came in and took a brief look at my vitals and how things were progressing then dropped a mini bomb on our excitement. She said my labor was starting to slow and I either needed to go home or needed to let them administer a small dosage of pitocin to speed things up. No wonder a large majority of women are so impatient, they have impatient doctors who give them ultimatums and make them feel nervous. How frustrating this part of the story is to me! I was already in a hospital gown, IVs and fetal monitors laced my body, and we were a good 30 minutes away from home. I made the decision to have pitocin and thus began my cascade of medical interventions leading up to your birth.

Once the pitocin reached my veins the pain became intense, unnatural, something only a robot could endure. Each contraction harder than the next with a shorter rest period after each one. Out of my mind with frustration and spine shocking pain, I asked for an epidural. I will not lie to you, that epidural felt wonderful. I was numb. It seemed liked the best decision I had ever made until time flew forward and I had been pushing for almost 4 hours with no luck of getting you out. You see, I couldn't feel what the heck I was doing. There is a reason God made women with the ability to feel Pain and contractions. It helps bring your baby into your arms, not the other way around. During the hours and hours of pushing, the doctor and nurses made comments such as "stop pushing with your face" or "you aren't pushing the right way!" I felt intimidated, humiliated and like I was failing miserably as a woman. Finally, the doctor said she would give me 30 minutes and if I didn't have that baby out of me we were going to talk "options". Panic struck me and I pushed and pushed with as much energy as my exhausted body could muster but was at a loss. I spiked a 104 degree temperature (probably from the epidural and stress combined) and suddenly the room was filled with 30 people. The doctor said she needed to use a vacuum on you and took out her knife. After two failed attempts, she pulled you out and whisked you away. I was hysterical to say the least. Your Dad looked like he was going to vomit. And those were our first moments of parenthood. It was the most terrified I had ever been in my life. It was a heart wrenching, soul shaking, and earth shattering experience. Nothing mattered beyond you.

After what seemed like an eternity, you let out a sad little whimper and they brought you over to me so I could kiss you goodbye before they brought you to NICU. I guess it was then that I realized my heart would never be the same. And it never has been.

Kai, I want you to know that even though your first moments and days on this Earth were the most difficult of my life, there has never been a second when it wasn't absolutely worth it. I would do it all over again, just to be your mother. You have opened my eyes to the most beautiful experiences and my soul is forever altered. You made me a mother. Of all the things I have done, being your Mom has been my favorite. I promise to cherish each day with you and never take the blessing of your existence for granted. I love you with every beat of my heart.

Love Forever and Always,

Mama xoxox

 

 

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Tot School: Plant Week, Bug Week, and Independence Day Theme Week

Our first week of Tot School was extremely basic and more of a means to get our feet wet on our homeschooling journey than anything else. Our garden was beginning to grow and many flowers were still in bloom so I thought a plant themed week would be a really great beginning.

Plant Week

The first thing I did was create a seed sensory bin. I filled this tub up with different types of seeds I had leftover from planting our garden earlier in the year, along with soil and some shredded pieces of recycled brown paper. I gave Kai his shovel and had him dig in the tub and search for the seeds. When we found them all, we counted the seeds together and threw them back in. We did this many times during the week. It was a big success.

What would a plant theme be without a walk outside? Next, we went into our front and back yard and talked about the different types of plants we had growing around us. Trees, flowers, shrubs, grass, etc. Then we picked a few flowers, leaves, and blades of grass and brought them inside to make print paintings.

The rest of the week, we worked on short activities that did not necessarily fall under the specific plant theme. I did very little planning with this week, but it was the perfect amount to get us started. I didn't want to bombard Kai with a copious amount of activities.

Matching flash cards.

Transferring water with a sponge. This was and still is a favorite of Kai's. Kids+water= winning.

Glueing practice

Working on fine motor skills with stickers.

Making shapes with the geo-board.

Kai's first time using scissors! He is using a sheet out of our Kumon book "Let's Cut Paper!" Its a great resource for mastering the motor skills needed for scissor skills.

Transferring Pom poms using tongs. These tongs are far too big for little hands but at this point I had not purchased my small toast tongs that we now use. I recommend using those or ice tongs to start with.

We also planted flower seeds in a pot that I had Kai finger paint but for some reason did not take a picture of that activity.

Bug Week

During Plant week, Kai Became very interested in bugs. Naturally, every plant we were inspecting and discovering had at least one bug in its near proximity. And that's how our next theme came to be.

The beginning of bug week started with a Splat (I know, I'm so cheesy)! I came across a recipe for homemade sidewalk chalk paint in one of the arts and crafts books I own and decided it would be fun to use fly swatters instead of brushes. I cut out a piece of our large roll of craft paper, brought it outside and our fly swatting masterpiece was born.

Homemade sidewalk chalk paint!

To be completely honest, the paint was less than satisfactory. The consistency never seemed quite right no matter how much corn starch I added with hot water. The color was mediocre as well. In hindsight, I think it would have been more exciting to just buy some of the really vibrant sidewalk chalk paint that crayola sells but it's hard for me to justify any purchase when I can make something on my own with things we already own. The most important part was that Kai really, really enjoyed this activity and we spent a good hour outside hitting the swatter on the paper yelling, "splat!" So it was all worth it :)

More cutting from our Kumon book.

Pom Pom transferring using the new toast tongs. These are so much easier for little hands to manipulate.

"Sewing" pipe cleaners through a colander. I call out a color and he "sews" it in.

Marble painting a butterfly. Kai had a blast shaking the marble around in the box and was so proud of the way the butterfly turned out.

Our Independence Day theme week was pretty short since I was out of town for the actual 4th of July but we still managed to do some really fun crafts and great activities.

Sorting his Army men by color. We also counted how many we had of each color and took turns standing them all up and knocking them all down.

I found this fun activity where I find so many great ideas, pinterest. It's a dish full of baking soda, a medicine dropper and food dyed vinegar. It makes a little reaction when the vinegar hits the baking soda and was a good hour long activity at our house. The colors are suppose to be red and blue but the red never really turned out.

Practicing patterns using colored discs.

"Firework" print painting using pipe cleaners that I made into different size firework shaped brushes.

Matching numbers puzzle from my sister-in-law. Have I mentioned how nice it is to have someone in my family who has been homeschooling for a few years now? I have loved watching the transformation in her family since she has been homeschooling and I really enjoy picking her brain and hearing her insights. Thanks, Becky! Kai can recognize and match numbers 1-10 on his own but still gets confused with the difference between 6 and 9. I love watching how accomplished he feels when he finishes this activity.

The last activity for the 4th of July was definitely Kai's favorite craft up to this point. We made a confetti rocket sans the confetti because I wasn't in the mood to clean up any more messes before I left for my trip. So, I guess what we really made was a rocket but confetti rocket just sounds way cooler.

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Home Educating Children: The Very, Very Beginning

One of the aspects of homeschooling that I love the most is the freedom to do what I want, when I want, how I want, and to move in the direction I see fit for each of my children collectively and individually. Although the task at hand may seem daunting at times, this is something that truly gives me peace.
For many people, schooling begins when a child enters preschool. Usually around 3 or 4. I have decided that it will begin for Kai at two and a half. It is what we call Tot School. Not quite as formal as pre-school but more structured than free play for a part of the day. The Tot School Idea was created here.

To be honest, most mothers start tot school with their little ones without even knowing it. It's the concept of giving our kids opportunities to develop and learn while still keeping the environment one which fosters a child's natural desire to learn. This day in age, it's very easy to get stuck sticking your child in front of the tv for far too long or to walk out of the room and be uninvolved in playing with them. I am guilty of this. Which is why I decided that tot school was going to happen in our home at least once a day for an hour or so. That way I know without a doubt, that I have dedicated a decent amount of time where I am completely focused on Kai's education.

We have chosen a direction that is a mix between Montessori, traditional, and classical learning at the most basic level. Most of what we do is hands on, but Kai also has a big interest in sitting down and writing while using simple worksheets. The materials I use are things I have on hand or inexpensive items I find at the dollar store or dollar section at Target. There is also a boat load of free resources online that I print out at home and laminate. It's all about being creative! I can't tell you how many games I have come up with using dry beans and kitchen utensils. I have started a running list of "Things I Would Like to Own" where I put the items that cost a little more money. But for now, simple is working just fine for us.

Since this is an introduction to preschool, it is very relaxed. I follow Kai's lead 99% of the time. If I come up with a game that I think is awesome and he does not, I do not push it on him. Then I silently remind myself that this is meant to be fun. As he gets older and his attention span grows, I will add more structured guidelines. My end goal is to have him fully ready for an actual formal pre-school setting around 4 or 4 1/2. I will post our first week of tot school soon. We loved it! We did a theme week about plants, it was a blast. Honestly :)